B, C, D then E


Part I

They say life’s from B to D
Only the C matters to me
Birth to death with Christ in between
So I have to live with Christ to win.

They say ‘YOLO’ – You Only Live Once’
Well living without a purpose is just existing
Its in Christ you find your purpose for living
So they know it but they just lack understanding.

Life’s full of mazes
A fact that amazes
But it’s the exit point that matters.

In a bid to find it, there are so many shatters,
So many scatters, so many waters.
Sometimes we swim, sometimes we drown,
Sometimes we barely stay above so as not to go down.

Yet some people think I’m a clown –
They call me foolish
‘Cos I’m full of Christ ish
They call me childish
‘Cos I believe faith is the ish

Well it’s time for me to dish
Since God has called us to fish
Yes us – Me, you and you
Be a fisher of men – oh and women too
Display Christ in whatever you do
You just might be the only bible they see.

Who should we be?
Who are we?
I am me – bought with a fee.

Jesus’ blood paid the price and now I’m free
Yet I owe all to Him
I’m free from sin
I’m free in Him

I wish I could say I miss the ‘me’  I used to be
but I’d be lying –
Then I was dying
Its unfortunate I had to drop you to pull through
Nothing personal – but then again it His.
It’s me and my Saviour – I’m His!

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What if … Instead of … Because …!


What if I chose to stay?
What if I changed my mind?
What if I hung around?
What if I tried harder?

Instead of going all the way,
Instead of sticking to the image,
Instead of secluding myself,
Instead of waiting for things to happen,

Because I didn’t want the doting.
Because I didn’t want to dash their hopes.
Because it was too hard to see everyone move on.
Because I felt things would just happen to me.

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride …
If I had another shot, would I do it the same again?
If I was a different me, would I have made different decisions?
If I took more control, would things have turned out differently?

But I’m calm and composed on the outside
And I’ve got my plans all laid out
But even the next step’s hazy
And is far from guaranteed
But I still hope and pray that it’ll all come together
And something’ll work out for my good
But sometimes it’s hard
And I really do try
But too much has happened
And a lot is yet to occur.

What if I quit instead of try because I’m too scared to fail?

Someone said I haven’t written anything in a while so I decided to put this up. With the ‘never-nearing-future’ we used to talk about getting closer than ever, a lot has been running through my mind. I’m usually not a poem person but right now that’s the only way I can express myself. I think I’m experiencing writer’s block in a major way – Its not even funny! 😦

Okay that’s all for now!
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Thanks,
Moi!

Silent Scream


I sighed at first when I saw the length of this post but it was worth it. You all need to read it AND share it so if you’re busy right now – STOP and READ or save this page and make sure you read it later!
Whatever you do – You just have to read it!

Confessions Of A Chocoholic

Note: This is a looong post.  This is because of the nature of the topic. It took a lot out of me emotionally to write this.  I focused more on the female perspective but it is applicable to men too. I will talk more on this topic in the future.  Please read to the end, share and leave your comments at the end
“Ewooo look at the time! its 11:30 and I am still here” Bimple said to herself shaking her head. She could not believe she had lost track of time. She was in one of the classrooms in her faculty studying for her upcoming finals, “at least this useless econometrics is finally beginning to make some sense” she thought to herself as she hurriedly packed her things and began to walk back to her hostel. She walked briskly waving to a few people she knew along the way…

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Me – Unedited


I’ve wanted to write for so long and I can say I’ve been busy (which I have) or I ‘ve been tryna sort out my thoughts (which is true) or some other excuse (which probably has its origin somewhere in the truth) and I still don’t know what to write so I’ll let this flow.

I’m sorry for not having time for my friends lately, I’ve been too caught up in my own little world and too absorbed planning for everything that just might go wrong. I usually know exactly what to say – the right words are always at the tip of my tongue but lately I’ve been outta sort.
I’ve had to depend on people,
I’ve had to let go of control,
I’ve had to let people in,
I’ve had to show my heart.
I love to be needed – I hate needing someone but life has taught me it works both ways. I hafta need you, you need to need me so we can help each other and ‘relate’ like ‘ships’.. I’m not the me I used to be – far from it – yet I’m not the me I should be but I hope I’m getting closer everyday.

I try too hard to sound right now it sounds fake even to me. I try so hard not to let my feelings show it sounds forced even to me. I try too hard to remain unattached it sounds cold even to me. I try so hard to be different it sounds desperate even to me.

I try – This I do.
I guess I should just feel and let it flow …
I’ll try that – No I’ll do
And hopefully I’ve not sank too low.

I wanna believe in love – and happily ever after.
Okay maybe I do, just not for me,
It may happen who knows – then again I’m just another …
Another being, another case, another slave who’s been set free.

I believe in someday … I really do
I believe in family, I want kids too
I believe in love, I believe in two

Again I’m sorry if I’ve come across as strange to you, I’m trying to figure out what next to do, the next step to take and sometimes its not as easy as putting one foot in front of the next.

I’m not reading through before I post this – I hope its okay but then even if it isn’t its straight from my heart.