What if … Instead of … Because …!

What if I chose to stay?
What if I changed my mind?
What if I hung around?
What if I tried harder?

Instead of going all the way,
Instead of sticking to the image,
Instead of secluding myself,
Instead of waiting for things to happen,

Because I didn’t want the doting.
Because I didn’t want to dash their hopes.
Because it was too hard to see everyone move on.
Because I felt things would just happen to me.

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride …
If I had another shot, would I do it the same again?
If I was a different me, would I have made different decisions?
If I took more control, would things have turned out differently?

But I’m calm and composed on the outside
And I’ve got my plans all laid out
But even the next step’s hazy
And is far from guaranteed
But I still hope and pray that it’ll all come together
And something’ll work out for my good
But sometimes it’s hard
And I really do try
But too much has happened
And a lot is yet to occur.

What if I quit instead of try because I’m too scared to fail?

Someone said I haven’t written anything in a while so I decided to put this up. With the ‘never-nearing-future’ we used to talk about getting closer than ever, a lot has been running through my mind. I’m usually not a poem person but right now that’s the only way I can express myself. I think I’m experiencing writer’s block in a major way – Its not even funny! 😦

Okay that’s all for now!
Like Ganaija on facebook to see other posts (not by ganaijachic) you should check out and please leave your comments – Tell me what you think!

Thanks,
Moi!

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