What is the point of love? – Day 12


Today’s write in is by a naughty friend of mine – Yes naughty :p Her name’s Nkechi and she’s an amazing writer. I wish she’d write more often though 😦 She’s also a great artist and she loves me to pieces. Hehehe I said it on the world wide web! 😀 Wondering why love someone anyway? Let’s find out!

Really tough question huh? I have had my entire life to think about this, didn’t do a very good job at it though but in the past few months, I have come to realize that LOVE exists to give hope to the hopeless, to give a sense of belonging to many that feel out of place. It is an inward force that causes you to care for people extraordinarily without limits or regrets … Its difficult at first.

‘Love is like sweet tarts. They go in sour but finish off sweet.’

However do not be deceived by the things you see in the world about how love is expressed; real love is of God. The kind of love without conditions; the love that does not desire a return, love offered knowing that the person being loved cannot love back that way or does not deserve it.

*Picture this*

Love One-Four

Daisy, Michelle and Laura have been friends for more than half their lives; you would expect that at this point, nothing can separate them but then Michelle starts feeling jealous because she thinks Daisy and Laura have more time for themselves than they do for her and she feels cheated. Instead of voicing this out, she starts to build this volcanic mountain of hurt inside of her (sooner than later, she’s bound to erupt). Lets say she keeps a huge distance between them and stays on her own, hurting Daisy and Laura in the process; nothing gets solved and she ends up feeling more hurt than before.

Little things like this happen in recent times and grow into worse scenarios but love does not hold grudges or act out of hurt, love is not possessive, selfish, one-sided or proud, love pulls you back to happiness no matter how bad a mess you have been through, love heals shattered hearts, love speaks even in silence, love binds, erases bad memories, helps you grow … So what exactly is the point of love you ask? Love is life. A loveless person is a walking dead.

Who do you need to love today? Mend the cracks in your relationships before they become holes. Go back and love somebody who can’t love you back or who doesn’t deserve it! Till tomorrow again!!

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Who says ‘I love you’ first? – Day 11


Today’s random love thought is  by another amazing RANDOM writer. Someone (my mum X_X) told me to check out the blog and I saw a great piece for Love One Four so enjoy! Visit the website as well, its amazing!

P.S. Its another boss who has left blogging for the small children like me *sigh*

Love One-Four

I’m not sure how this applies in the Nigerian dating culture and I would be glad if someone enlightens me but I know in the western world, saying “I Love You” for the first time is a really big deal, I mean a huge deal in relationships and I’ve never really understood why people place so much emphasis on who says it first, how soon you say it and even where you say it. Now, I know this affects men and women in different ways so I’ll address the both angels.
Ladies First…
So here comes Angela and Segun who have been dating for 5 months and Segun is yet to say the three magic words. Angela starts to panic, “.. does he love me..? … should I say it first..? maybe he’s too shy to say it..? .. Oh God, he’s seeing another girl….” All these and even worse are the thoughts in Angela’s head. So what should she do?
Men…
Here is Segun, enjoying the relationship that he has going with Angela. Everything thing seems to be going well and he really does care about her but he is not yet at the commitment stage. One day, they are on a romantic date when Angela tells Segun “…babe, I have something I’ve been wanting to tell you..” (Segun begins to think.. Oh Oh….)

Angela: “Babe, I want you to know that I love you…”
Segun: Oh! .. **awkward silence**


Angela feels hurt that Segun did not say it back while Segun is scared that he’s now in trouble and the

relationship just got complicated.

See what I mean? Way too much complication. We attached unnecessary value to irrelevancies in our relationships. Who says I love you first is irrelevant and has nothing to do with the success of a relationship. You know why? Because people lie! All the time! What if Segun says “I love you too..” but he really doesn’t? People can say and do anything just to get what they want and to please the other party. Saying I love you these days is not a guarantee of anything. So stop complicating issues and just go with it. On the other hand, what if Segun starts acting like the sun rises and sets on his behind all because Angela said the words first?

Someone once said that whoever says “I love you” first in the relationship is in the weakest link. DogShit! That’s a whole load of crap that people just feed you without even understanding your own scenario. You have to understand that relationships vary from person to person. What works for A is not necessarily going to work for B. So don’t run your relationship the same way Sade does hers, you’ll only get one result: disaster!

Here’s what I think, it’s not even an issue; just say it! If you are convinced enough that you feel that strongly for that person then just say it. You can only get three responses:
(1) I love you too,
(2) The person is almost at the same place with you, and
(3) the person doesn’t love you now, and isn’t going to any time soon.
Based on whatever the response you get is, just keep on moving. And even if he/she says it back, talk is cheap. It’s the person’s actions towards you that will tell you whether he/she really does love you or not. But either way, stop treating your relationship with some 12 steps that you read in a book and attaching meaning to who says it first because if you are both meant to be together, such things would be irrelevant.

Most importantly, If you love someone, just tell them because today is given but tomorrow is not guaranteed

Tomorrow, Love One Four continues with ‘So whats the point of Love’ by Nkechi! Bye guys 😀

Why I don’t love my fiance – Day 10


Today’s random love thought is reblogged from michaeljpittman.wordpress.com. I stumbled across it and its perfect!!! Enjoy ‘Why I don’t love my fiance’ 😀

Love One-Four

Michael J. Pittman

In 130 days I’m getting married, and a friend recently asked me why I love my fiancé. I wanted to share a deeper perspective on Amanda and I’s relationship, so before I answered why I love her, I had to first explain to him the reasons I don’t love my future bride to be.

I came to two conclusions:
First is, I don’t love Amanda for what’s on the outside. I know. It sounds cheesy, it sounds sappy. This perspective is not a novel idea by any means. How many times have you heard someone say, “I don’t love you for what’s on the outside. I love you for what’s on the inside.” But that brings me to my second conclusion.

I don’t love Amanda for what’s on the inside either.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are many things on the inside and outside that I love about

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21st Century Fairy Tale II – Day 9


This was written by a dear friend and brother of mine. He’s also a very funny person! 😉 So here’s a guy’s view of 21st Century Fairy tale. His name’s Ezekiel and he likes life ‘Ezzy Ezzy’! Here it is …

Love One-Four

Have you observed that at some certain stages in life, all or most of what you hear about is a particular thing or are particular things or people. As a child, between ages five to nine, all you hear about are -the best primary schools, the most ‘wicked’ teacher in school, the newest biscuits and candies, the newest cartoons and sometimes the most ‘wicked’ parent.

As a teenager and sometimes even the young adult, your life seems to revolve around a lot of things especially being noticed and your emotions. Today when the word ‘love’ is mentioned it takes the minds of young adults to someone (a person) and not an expression of the mind itself.

Every time the word love is mentioned, no matter where or when, Bisi feels her heart skip a beat and some warmth going around her heart. Ebuka is all Bisi thinks about, the driving around town in his car, shopping together, having ice-cream together, pecking and kissing wherever (Dear reader, Bisi and Ebuka aren’t in Nigeria else …).Ebuka seems to be the best thing that happened to Bisi and now to Bisi the true sign of love is shopping and spending and romancing. Like Bisi, many young adults think love is the shopping, spending and romancing. What if Bisi’s idea of love is right? I guess it’s only in the 21st century.

Right now, I don’t know who’s coming up tomorrow so I’ll be as surprised as you 😉 Catch you all tomorrow 😀 Check out 21st Century Fairytale I as well. 🙂

Picture Perfect Love – Day 8


Today’s post is by an award winning blogger Dr Anita Benson. I wrote to her but I really didn’t expect her to have the time to contribute to this project but I’m glad she did. Her website (she has left blogging for people like me) has something for everyone. Y’all should check it out!!! For now, here’s Picture Perfect Love.

When I was 12 years old my perfect picture of love was a tall, dark and handsome stranger saving me from my boring life and whisking me away in his strong arms on his trusty steed (Blame the tons of novels I read). As a teenager my views changed only slightly. The stranger had to love me ‘forever’ and be as romantic as possible (think candle light dinners and poetry). By the time I turned 20, reality set in and I set aside the quest for the perfect picture of love and instead embraced the picture perfect love that everyone seemed to be so involved with. Picture perfect love was all I saw, women and men who were obsessed with showing the world how perfect their relationships were. Public displays of affection, mushy pictures plastered all over the Internet, loud and expensive gestures of love…I wanted it so bad. it seemed that any love without these attributes wasn’t love at all. I would visit my favorite websites and spend long minutes looking at pictures of couples that seemed so in love that they left you longing for love. Nobody told me about what happened behind closed doors; the fights, the abuse, the infidelity, the blatant disrespect. I imagined the couples permanently stuck in love’s tightest embrace behind closed doors, giving each other earfuls of sweet nothings. Relationships which weren’t picture perfect lost all appeal to me and many good men were sacrificed on the altar of love, their only crime being their lack of ‘romance’. 

 

After a couple of heartbreaks and some shocking revelations from friends who had picture perfect love, I reached into the recesses of my mind and found the little place I had saved the longing for the perfect picture of love. I wanted love like the kind depicted in the Notebook, the Bible, Titanic and Romeo and Juliet. I didn’t want to have to die (Naija girls don’t die for love), I just wanted the sort of love that was worth dying for. I searched and researched and prayed and experimented and one day I got the formula for my perfect description of love-1 Corinthians 13 vs 4-13.                   No matter what love scenarios I am presented with (be it real life or at the movies), they can all be put into one or all of the boxes presented in this chapter. My perfect picture of love is not perfect at all.  For love and perfection seem to be at tangents after all the very humans that define this love are imperfect creatures. I can’t guarantee that the perfect picture of love will not make you cry for love is about sacrifice and patience. I cannot guarantee that the perfect picture of love will not grate on your very last nerve for love is about endurance and forgiveness but I will tell you that love is greater than hope and greater than faith and it never fails.

 Love One-Four

I was supposed to write about my perfect picture of love, well I am living it each and every day with my imperfect husband who loves me the very best way he knows how to. Every individual has a different love story to tell with her own upsides and downsides and if that love is true, if it stands the wind and the fire and the rain and the roses and the calm then I raise a glass to toast that love for it is the perfect picture of love…

And that’s it – Picture Perfect Love. Love 14 continues tomorrow with another talented writer. I can’t believe its almost over 😦
Have a great weekend guys! See you tomorrow 😀