I was writing a post on the Buhari wars and I still haven’t finished it. Please pray for me and this procrastination problem! *covers face* In the mean time, here’s a little something I wrote on ensuring relationship security! Enjoy! 😊
Security is a pretty tricky word. it means making something safe, free from theft or harm or simply that something is assured or guaranteed – in layman’s terms. According to the dictionary, security is simply a state of not being threatened. Now ensuring relationship security is a pretty sensitive issue to tackle because personally I believe there’s only so much we can do as humans to ‘ensure’ anything so I’ll try my best.
No one wants to suffer heartbreak yeah? So here are a few tips I’ve picked up over time: It’s ME YOU US
M – Make Boundaries
At the beginning of any relationship, one needs to clearly define the boundaries and not leave anything to chance. It’s not enough to say ‘No sex’. You need to discuss things like kissing and being alone in a room even in a house that isn’t empty and whether it’s allowed or not. So set clear boundaries…
E – Enjoy the process
Don’t rush into relationships. Enjoy the friendship and getting to know each other with no strings attached. It is more likely that if you rush in, you’ll rush out. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t define a relationship but even if both of you know where it’s headed, enjoy the friendship.
Y – Your individuality matters
I can’t stress enough how important it is to have a life outside your relationship. For people that have other friends and other hobbies outside their partners, it’s easier to move on even if things eventually don’t work out between you two because you have other things to focus on that don’t necessarily remind you of them. Also it reduces pressure on the other person – because they aren’t the sole focus of your life.
O – Observe relations
This is crucial! Observe the way the other person relates with people that are not you. Subconsciously as humans, we are nicer to people we like and people we want to get something from. So, observe how they treat their siblings, their colleagues at work, friends, classmates, strangers and even their parents. This helps you know understand their value system a little better so you’re not too ‘in love’ before you notice!
U – Unallowed – Physical intimacy!
You don’t need to prove your love by sleeping together. If that was the case, you would need to sleep with your parents and siblings and friends and a host of other people you’ve cared about at one point or the other. It’s harder to see clearly once sex is involved. One party keeps making excuses for the other no matter the glaring faults and eventually ends up heart broken. It is more than a physical something but that’s story for another day!
U – Understand the importance of warning signs
There usually are signs about a person’s character even when they try to hide it – slips of tongue, deflections, stories people are telling you. Now I’d like to say at this point that it doesn’t mean you should look for those signs but that if something is recurring you should confront it. That way you won’t have need to say ‘Had I Known’
Lastly S – Sensitivity to the Spirit.
Even after all these, sometimes the relationship may not work. You should pray before you go into a relationship but even at that you need Tobe sensitive I the relationship. There are times we hear God tell us, to do something but just like Abraham, we need to be sensitive enough in case He tells us to stop. This may not happen a lot especially in relationships but sensitivity to the spirit is still very key!
It’s a long one but I hope I’ve been able to condense my thoughts into a simple form for you to understand. Remember MEYOUUS can only do so much but God is the ultimate security.