Boundaries I


This particular post is way overdue and I want to first send a shoutout to @_shimuel who constantly reminded me that I was supposed to put this up and finally I have! :D. Thank you for your persistence and this Ghanaijachic appreciates your belief and dedication in this!

Now let’s begin!

The first thing that comes to your mind when you hear boundaries is restriction – at least that’s what comes to my mind . Limitations and rules are two other very likely words but no one immediately thinks of protection. The thing is God has set boundary lines for us and instead of thinking about how much this ‘limits’ you remember they have fallen for you in pleasant places meaning that whatever you do within these boundary lines is not supposed to ‘steal’ your joy! Boundaries give you identity – This is me, my gifts, values, feelings, needs, beliefs, etc.

Psalm 16:7
‘The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, surely I have a delightful inheritance.

There are five major boundaries that you must set for yourself and not cross. I learnt an acronym for that and its – PRESS.

Personal Space

Personal Boundaries: Personal boundaries are the hardest to set because they involve me controlling me. It’s easy to make excuses and readjust boundaries we set for ourselves as we please but sometimes we need to be disciplined. The most important personal boundary to me is controlling your tongue.

Mat 12:36 – 37
‘But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.’

Thinking about the fact that I would be judged based on everything that comes out of my mouth makes me think twice before i utter anything. Another thing is letting my yes be yes and my no, no. It simply means I must be a person of integrity. Whatever it is that would compromise my integrity, I choose to be apart from. Think of what personal boundaries you need to set and remember setting personal boundaries does not mean shutting people out!

 

Relational Boundaries: Man is a social being and no man is an island. We therefore need to relate with each other in this world but one principle everyone understands is that ‘You are the company you keep’. Hanging around certain characters all the time would ensure that you pick up those characters whether you like it or not.

1Cor 15:33
‘Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.’

5 rules

Don’t use that as an excuse though to  be ‘unequally yoked’ with unbelievers. The truth of the matter is that for ‘yoked’ relationships, the two people (or more than two) have to have the same basic beliefs and if they disagree then the foundation is shaky. This is also not to say that Christians shouldn’t be friends with Buddhists and cast them out or they should torment Muslims because they are of different faiths but that you should set boundaries as to what kind of relationships you have with people and who you can get intimate with.

Emotional Boundaries: The hardest emotional boundary to set is ‘turning the other cheek’. I often debate within myself as to whether I should ignore when others hurt me in a bid to maintain peace or if it’s okay to get angry. I finally decided that if someone hurts me I’d tell them – maybe not there and then but just to get it off my shoulder and avoid keeping a grudge. If it’s no big deal, then fine I may not need to bring it up except it is a recurring habit. I also decided that par adventure I get angry, I shouldn’t speak in anger or make decisions in anger. Still don’t let people take advantage of you okay?

Control

Eph 4:26
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:’

 

I’ll end here for now – there are two more major boundaries you shouldn’t cross or you should set for yourself – Situational and Sexual and I’ll be talking about them in my next post along with some consequences of breaking boundaries. Leave a comment and let me know what you think abiout boundaries.

Ta ta for now!

 

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What if … Instead of … Because …!


What if I chose to stay?
What if I changed my mind?
What if I hung around?
What if I tried harder?

Instead of going all the way,
Instead of sticking to the image,
Instead of secluding myself,
Instead of waiting for things to happen,

Because I didn’t want the doting.
Because I didn’t want to dash their hopes.
Because it was too hard to see everyone move on.
Because I felt things would just happen to me.

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride …
If I had another shot, would I do it the same again?
If I was a different me, would I have made different decisions?
If I took more control, would things have turned out differently?

But I’m calm and composed on the outside
And I’ve got my plans all laid out
But even the next step’s hazy
And is far from guaranteed
But I still hope and pray that it’ll all come together
And something’ll work out for my good
But sometimes it’s hard
And I really do try
But too much has happened
And a lot is yet to occur.

What if I quit instead of try because I’m too scared to fail?

Someone said I haven’t written anything in a while so I decided to put this up. With the ‘never-nearing-future’ we used to talk about getting closer than ever, a lot has been running through my mind. I’m usually not a poem person but right now that’s the only way I can express myself. I think I’m experiencing writer’s block in a major way – Its not even funny! 😦

Okay that’s all for now!
Like Ganaija on facebook to see other posts (not by ganaijachic) you should check out and please leave your comments – Tell me what you think!

Thanks,
Moi!

Ramblings …


I trusted – I loved – I felt too deeply yet I was betrayed
I cared – I defended – I invested all I had into it but what did I get?
I feel used – I feel fooled – I feel taken advantage of but it’ll fade
I was willing to bet you’d changed; that everything was over but lately I don’t wanna make that bet.

I wanna trust again but its hard
I wanna love again it hurts so bad
The fact that I let you get to me makes me mad
But right now I’d rather be mad than sad
You were more or less all I had.

I’m done feeling blue you have no clue
I can’t let my life be run by you
I think I forgive you, at least I hope I have
I won’t let my emotions because of you starve!

I’d be happy not sappy
I’d be glad not mad
I’d be merry and full of joy
And I won’t be a victim to your ploy
I’d be me, I’d be free
I’d go on a love spree
Just watch and see!!!

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