Who says ‘I love you’ first? – Day 11


Today’s random love thought is  by another amazing RANDOM writer. Someone (my mum X_X) told me to check out the blog and I saw a great piece for Love One Four so enjoy! Visit the website as well, its amazing!

P.S. Its another boss who has left blogging for the small children like me *sigh*

Love One-Four

I’m not sure how this applies in the Nigerian dating culture and I would be glad if someone enlightens me but I know in the western world, saying “I Love You” for the first time is a really big deal, I mean a huge deal in relationships and I’ve never really understood why people place so much emphasis on who says it first, how soon you say it and even where you say it. Now, I know this affects men and women in different ways so I’ll address the both angels.
Ladies First…
So here comes Angela and Segun who have been dating for 5 months and Segun is yet to say the three magic words. Angela starts to panic, “.. does he love me..? … should I say it first..? maybe he’s too shy to say it..? .. Oh God, he’s seeing another girl….” All these and even worse are the thoughts in Angela’s head. So what should she do?
Men…
Here is Segun, enjoying the relationship that he has going with Angela. Everything thing seems to be going well and he really does care about her but he is not yet at the commitment stage. One day, they are on a romantic date when Angela tells Segun “…babe, I have something I’ve been wanting to tell you..” (Segun begins to think.. Oh Oh….)

Angela: “Babe, I want you to know that I love you…”
Segun: Oh! .. **awkward silence**


Angela feels hurt that Segun did not say it back while Segun is scared that he’s now in trouble and the

relationship just got complicated.

See what I mean? Way too much complication. We attached unnecessary value to irrelevancies in our relationships. Who says I love you first is irrelevant and has nothing to do with the success of a relationship. You know why? Because people lie! All the time! What if Segun says “I love you too..” but he really doesn’t? People can say and do anything just to get what they want and to please the other party. Saying I love you these days is not a guarantee of anything. So stop complicating issues and just go with it. On the other hand, what if Segun starts acting like the sun rises and sets on his behind all because Angela said the words first?

Someone once said that whoever says “I love you” first in the relationship is in the weakest link. DogShit! That’s a whole load of crap that people just feed you without even understanding your own scenario. You have to understand that relationships vary from person to person. What works for A is not necessarily going to work for B. So don’t run your relationship the same way Sade does hers, you’ll only get one result: disaster!

Here’s what I think, it’s not even an issue; just say it! If you are convinced enough that you feel that strongly for that person then just say it. You can only get three responses:
(1) I love you too,
(2) The person is almost at the same place with you, and
(3) the person doesn’t love you now, and isn’t going to any time soon.
Based on whatever the response you get is, just keep on moving. And even if he/she says it back, talk is cheap. It’s the person’s actions towards you that will tell you whether he/she really does love you or not. But either way, stop treating your relationship with some 12 steps that you read in a book and attaching meaning to who says it first because if you are both meant to be together, such things would be irrelevant.

Most importantly, If you love someone, just tell them because today is given but tomorrow is not guaranteed

Tomorrow, Love One Four continues with ‘So whats the point of Love’ by Nkechi! Bye guys 😀

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Why I don’t love my fiance – Day 10


Today’s random love thought is reblogged from michaeljpittman.wordpress.com. I stumbled across it and its perfect!!! Enjoy ‘Why I don’t love my fiance’ 😀

Love One-Four

Michael J. Pittman

In 130 days I’m getting married, and a friend recently asked me why I love my fiancé. I wanted to share a deeper perspective on Amanda and I’s relationship, so before I answered why I love her, I had to first explain to him the reasons I don’t love my future bride to be.

I came to two conclusions:
First is, I don’t love Amanda for what’s on the outside. I know. It sounds cheesy, it sounds sappy. This perspective is not a novel idea by any means. How many times have you heard someone say, “I don’t love you for what’s on the outside. I love you for what’s on the inside.” But that brings me to my second conclusion.

I don’t love Amanda for what’s on the inside either.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are many things on the inside and outside that I love about

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21st Century Fairy Tale II – Day 9


This was written by a dear friend and brother of mine. He’s also a very funny person! 😉 So here’s a guy’s view of 21st Century Fairy tale. His name’s Ezekiel and he likes life ‘Ezzy Ezzy’! Here it is …

Love One-Four

Have you observed that at some certain stages in life, all or most of what you hear about is a particular thing or are particular things or people. As a child, between ages five to nine, all you hear about are -the best primary schools, the most ‘wicked’ teacher in school, the newest biscuits and candies, the newest cartoons and sometimes the most ‘wicked’ parent.

As a teenager and sometimes even the young adult, your life seems to revolve around a lot of things especially being noticed and your emotions. Today when the word ‘love’ is mentioned it takes the minds of young adults to someone (a person) and not an expression of the mind itself.

Every time the word love is mentioned, no matter where or when, Bisi feels her heart skip a beat and some warmth going around her heart. Ebuka is all Bisi thinks about, the driving around town in his car, shopping together, having ice-cream together, pecking and kissing wherever (Dear reader, Bisi and Ebuka aren’t in Nigeria else …).Ebuka seems to be the best thing that happened to Bisi and now to Bisi the true sign of love is shopping and spending and romancing. Like Bisi, many young adults think love is the shopping, spending and romancing. What if Bisi’s idea of love is right? I guess it’s only in the 21st century.

Right now, I don’t know who’s coming up tomorrow so I’ll be as surprised as you 😉 Catch you all tomorrow 😀 Check out 21st Century Fairytale I as well. 🙂

Picture Perfect Love – Day 8


Today’s post is by an award winning blogger Dr Anita Benson. I wrote to her but I really didn’t expect her to have the time to contribute to this project but I’m glad she did. Her website (she has left blogging for people like me) has something for everyone. Y’all should check it out!!! For now, here’s Picture Perfect Love.

When I was 12 years old my perfect picture of love was a tall, dark and handsome stranger saving me from my boring life and whisking me away in his strong arms on his trusty steed (Blame the tons of novels I read). As a teenager my views changed only slightly. The stranger had to love me ‘forever’ and be as romantic as possible (think candle light dinners and poetry). By the time I turned 20, reality set in and I set aside the quest for the perfect picture of love and instead embraced the picture perfect love that everyone seemed to be so involved with. Picture perfect love was all I saw, women and men who were obsessed with showing the world how perfect their relationships were. Public displays of affection, mushy pictures plastered all over the Internet, loud and expensive gestures of love…I wanted it so bad. it seemed that any love without these attributes wasn’t love at all. I would visit my favorite websites and spend long minutes looking at pictures of couples that seemed so in love that they left you longing for love. Nobody told me about what happened behind closed doors; the fights, the abuse, the infidelity, the blatant disrespect. I imagined the couples permanently stuck in love’s tightest embrace behind closed doors, giving each other earfuls of sweet nothings. Relationships which weren’t picture perfect lost all appeal to me and many good men were sacrificed on the altar of love, their only crime being their lack of ‘romance’. 

 

After a couple of heartbreaks and some shocking revelations from friends who had picture perfect love, I reached into the recesses of my mind and found the little place I had saved the longing for the perfect picture of love. I wanted love like the kind depicted in the Notebook, the Bible, Titanic and Romeo and Juliet. I didn’t want to have to die (Naija girls don’t die for love), I just wanted the sort of love that was worth dying for. I searched and researched and prayed and experimented and one day I got the formula for my perfect description of love-1 Corinthians 13 vs 4-13.                   No matter what love scenarios I am presented with (be it real life or at the movies), they can all be put into one or all of the boxes presented in this chapter. My perfect picture of love is not perfect at all.  For love and perfection seem to be at tangents after all the very humans that define this love are imperfect creatures. I can’t guarantee that the perfect picture of love will not make you cry for love is about sacrifice and patience. I cannot guarantee that the perfect picture of love will not grate on your very last nerve for love is about endurance and forgiveness but I will tell you that love is greater than hope and greater than faith and it never fails.

 Love One-Four

I was supposed to write about my perfect picture of love, well I am living it each and every day with my imperfect husband who loves me the very best way he knows how to. Every individual has a different love story to tell with her own upsides and downsides and if that love is true, if it stands the wind and the fire and the rain and the roses and the calm then I raise a glass to toast that love for it is the perfect picture of love…

And that’s it – Picture Perfect Love. Love 14 continues tomorrow with another talented writer. I can’t believe its almost over 😦
Have a great weekend guys! See you tomorrow 😀

Valentine’s Day and Love – Day 7


So like I promised, here’s Valentine’s day and love by @Esty_prinon. Hope your val’s day is going great!

Love One-Four

The day was almost over and I sat in my chair, reflecting on what I had experienced during the day; it didn’t seem like a very nice experience to me.
On that Thursday morning, the sun was shining, the flowers were looking bright, birds were singing love songs. I saw a young man hand flowers to a lady;
Later in the afternoon a couple were having lunch at The Choicest Restaurant. There was even a party at the senator’s house where everyone ate, drank and exchanged presents. “It was really valentine’s day”, I had thought.
But that man, the beggar who held out his arm to the woman dressed in a corporate suit was hoping to get something little, perhaps something to sustain him for the day. Why did she ignore him? There was a lonely child walking the streets; why couldn’t anybody talk to him?
What about the children in the orphanages, seeking to be loved and longing for someone to come and make them part of a family?
The prisoners stand locked up in cells, thinking everybody hates them and wishing for freedom to live among the rest of the world again.

Is Valentine’s day meant for lovers alone? – Certainly not!  It’s not only the people we know and see on a daily basis that deserve to be loved. There are people who are being hurt, abused; who suffer, pleading for help in one area or the other, yet what are we doing about it?
People it’s Valentine’s! Enjoy the day, have fun, spend time with your loved ones but also, PLEASE don’t forget to reach out to one person or two with a word of encouragement, a little gift or a song. Visit the prisoners and less privileged. Pray for people who are hurting . Do something that doesn’t happen usually. In just anyway you can make a person feel loved, make an effort. Do not love only those who love you and are close to you.
Make people happy today; Spread Love in the air, everywhere you go and make the day worth its name! 😀 ❤
Check this love song out!
http://www.mediafire.com/?7ui5wc88cr5fly9
Happy Valentine’s Day!!

(P.S. For the song lyrics click here!)

Here’s more from Esther – Notes! Till tomorrow 😀