Love One-Four 16.10

In case you missed the last posts:

Love is Patient

Love Is Kind

Love does not envy

Love does not boast

Love is not proud

Love does not dishonor others

Love is not self-seeking

Love is not easily angered

Love keeps no record of wrongs

‘Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.’

This particular verse is somewhat tricky. Love not delighting in evil means that even when you love someone, you should not encourage their bad habits or ‘sins’. It also does not mean that you should gloat when an ‘enemy’ is found guilty of a crime. Love rejoicing in the truth means that you celebrate what is right and good – not covering up soon or trying to justify sin. Remember, love is not about how you feel towards someone or who can ‘do you’ back. It’s a lot more complicated than that as we’ve seen so far. Anyway for us to understand this particular quality of love God’s way, we need to understand God’s perspective of evil and the truth.

Today’s write in is by a friend of mine I like to call trans-national. She’s from the South, lives in the North, schooled in the North first then in Western Nigeria and now I’m waiting for her to bring home an Eastern husband. She is truly Nigerian! Okay too much information, her name is Comfort and she’s a God lover too. One more thing, if you haven’t liked Ganaija on facebook yet – WAIT!!! Now click here and like …




Here’s her Love One-Four piece:

To get a beautiful illustration concerning this great fact about love, let us cast our mind back to the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15 v 11 – 32).



Yes the boy did evil and no father would be happy about that.  But what happened when the prodigal son saw himself as he truly was – worthless without his father and unworthy to be called son? He was welcomed in grand style by his father.





One point to note here is that in love, even though evil occurs, if followed by a realization of the wrong and an embrace of the truth, the joy that the truth brings overcomes the unhappiness that came with evil.

2016-06-26 16.42.04





And that’s it folks. It’s short but I hope you got the message. Celebrate God’s truth – even if people err, correct them in love. It’s not an opportunity for ‘I told you so!’

‘’Love never fails.’’



Love One Four 16.7

In case you missed the last posts:

Love is Patient

Love Is Kind

Love does not envy

Love does not boast

Love is not proud

Love does not dishonor others

‘… It is not self-seeking …’

Selfish is usually the first word that comes to mind when talking about being ‘self-conscious. Selfish means to ‘have regard for oneself above others ‘well-being or hold one’s self interest as the standard for decision making. Self-seeking on a slightly related note means to be mindful of, or promoting only ones own interests. That said, today’s writer, Nomnso is another great writer. Trust me I was pleasantly surprised the first time I read a piece. I won’t toot his horn too much so he doesn’t get too big headed :p Make sure you check out his blog though –

nonso blog


I promise you’d thank me later!!! Anyway, here’s ‘Love is not self-seeking’ by Chukwunomnso Diali.

I recall a discussion that came up once in one of the youth fora I belong to. One of us while trying to offer relationship advice had insinuated or should I say more like boldly stated that ‘needy’ people aren’t good to be in a relationship with. In his opinion needy people wouldn’t last long in a relationship because of the very possible likelihood of wearing down whomever they have a relationship with, with their numerous, unending needs. Writing this my mind is drawn to the opening lines Bruno Mars’ hit song “Grenade”:

 “Easy come, easy go that’s just how you live,
Oh! Take it all, take it all but you never give”.

Reading those lines, it’s clear to see that lots of people agree with the fact that needy people are a no-no. And while I understand the obvious disdain for needy people and could relate with the reasons for the advice to avoid needy people, I had to spark up some sort of controversy (I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t *wink*). My reason for doing this wasn’t just to live up to my reputation as being a troublemaker, I actually felt that taking such a stand would amount to being shallow and failing to consider and /or address the situation holistically. 

The truth of the matter is that no one wants to be bugged down which is the ultimate result of being around a needy person, but that in itself hasn’t stopped needy people from being needy!. Why is this so? Also, why are there so many ‘needy’ people in the world today? Why do people feel content to just “Take, take, take it all…and never give”? The answer to this is really simple:




And just as some people tend to more caring or more jovial or even more aggressive than others, so do some of us tend to be needier than the rest of us. “No! That can’t be true!” Unfortunately, yes, it is true and no amount of wishing can turn make it untrue.

 The story of creation sheds more light of this. In the beginning God created the world with the vegetation, waters and animals (and unless you subscribe to the Big Bang Theory or the Theory of Evolution you probably already know this). He made man to rule over all he created. All was perfect or so it seemed, until God realized that Man was ALONE and in NEED of a companion. This led the Creator to make “Woman” for “Man” thereby taking care of man’s need. Now how is this supposed to change anything? The answer is simple:

“Realize that everyone needs something and focus on meeting the other person’s needs instead of waiting for your own needs to be met”.

This is the definition of selflessness. I can imagine Adam (Man) staring at Eve (Woman) and saying to himself “She’s just what I needed”. How could he not love her? How could he not treat her right?  He knew how much need of her he had before he finally had her. We’ve all grown up to believe that love is a choice we make to stay no matter what but we’ve never been told about what would inform us to make such a difficult choice. NEED is the word! Realizing that just as you need someone in your life to help meet your needs, they too need someone to meet their needs. This realization helps translate you from the mind-set of the “Receiver” to that of the “Giver” and increases the likelihood of having more loved ones around. Nothing will be too much, no sacrifice too great, no grudge too important to hold on to – we begin to lose ourselves in the desire to meet their needs as opposed to focusing on our needs being met always.

 This applies to every love-relationship known to man because love in its basic, purest form is selfless not because we don’t have needs but because WE ALL HAVE NEEDS. The needy person who understands this would begin to try to meets needs of others not because he has suddenly stopped being needy but because he is indeed very needy. Problem solved! *sips coffee*

 Towards a better humanity,


Bottom line – everyone has a need and personally I feel like everyone wants to be needed as well. So we can decide to help each other by meeting needs and in Diazno’s voice ‘Problem solved!’

‘’Love never fails.’’


Love One Four 16.2

In case you missed the last post:

Love is Patient

“ … Love is kind.”

Another word that is very common and not fully understood is ‘kind’. Kind means having a benevolent, courteous, friendly, generous, gentle, liberal, sympathetic or warm hearted nature or disposition, marked by consideration for – and service to – others. Our next writer is someone I like to call kind – she’s Miss Dela Ogbemudia. She’s an amazing singer, dancer and human being in general. Follow her on instagram @dela_ogb2 for Dela quotes.





Here’s ‘Love is Kind’ by Dela:


Love happens to be a topic that has been discussed for centuries now and would still be discussed in the nearest future. It’s something that not everyone can comprehend its true meaning. Some people don’t even believe love exists but trust me it does. This is obviously going to seem cliche but ‘love is not what we feel’ because feelings are temporary but love is a Person and that Person is Jesus and the only way we can truly love is if He teaches us.

Looking at 1st Corinthians 13 (yes the most basic scripture about love that virtually all Christians refer to when talking about love), we clearly see how amazing love is and trust me if you compare it with your human understanding of love you’d realize that your understanding falters in a lot of ways (if not in every way). For everything about love that was written in that passage of the bible, we see true love builds good character or habits and based on that context I’d be narrowing my scope down to “Love Being Kind”.

 2016-06-15 13.09.00


We all know kindness is about giving but trust me – human kindness always has a limit but God’s kindness doesn’t. He just keeps giving because that is His nature, He can’t help but love you even when you do wrong (but that doesn’t mean you should continue doing wrong). The Essence of Christ dying on the Cross of cavalry for our sins is by far the kindest gesture anyone has ever and will ever do, that can only be done out of love.

Being kind isn’t limited to what you give but how you see people, how you treat people, your actions towards people… and this is the typical lifestyle of Jesus Christ. He was always giving, His time, Energy, knowledge, Power, support, encouragement, prayers… because He knew what He was after not even for Himself but for you and me. Hence today we can boldly call ourselves Christians because our faith is based on His resurrection.

God wants what is best for you –


Jeremiah 29:11

‘His thoughts for us are of peace and not of evil to bring us to an “expected end”’


meaning that the end He has for you is obviously a good one.


3rd John 1:2

‘He wants us to prosper and be in good health just as our souls prosper as well’


These are God’s wishes for us; they are wishes because we have freewill and so God has great plans for us but it is our freewill that’ll help us decide if we want those great wishes or plans to come to pass or we want to follow our own plans which only might work here and end here on earth but Gods plans for us are for eternity.

Some people feel that because they don’t have some things they want it means God isn’t kind to them or doesn’t love them but I bet even if God gave you everything you want you’d never be satisfied because you’ll keep wanting more and not everything you want is good for you. He knows everything you need but He wants you to seek Him first and at the right time you’ll get all that you need (not want, take note). His love never fails – if you truly have a relationship with God and you’ve gone through some hard times like I have (another story for another day and P.S. I’m not saying my relationship with God is exactly perfect but you know, I try…), you’ll definitely understand what I mean when I say His love never fails). There are times when I’ve done terrible things but I can still feeling Him calling out to me, not letting go, so consistent ( there’s no way you can backslide when you have some understanding of God’s love, His love will not even allow you backslide). True love never fails, it’s always correct, faithful, has perfect timing…



When it comes to what love truly is from God’s perspective, there is just so much to say because perfect love is endless, inexplicable, so I would keep writing and writing until I realize I’ve written for a couple of years and I’m still writing because I’m still not done understanding the perfect love of God. You trying to fully understand it is like you going deeper into a black hole of some knowledge that goes on forever… Today I want you to look at Gods love and use it as a compass for your everyday life.


Being kind is not limited to just giving – there are many other factors involved. Again, true love does not mean being kind to people you know, are related to or can be kind back. True love is kind even when the other can’t be kind back – true love is kind even when the other person is actually pretty mean.

‘’Love never fails.’’



Your Word, Your Bond


Two times this month … I’m on a roll mehn! Lol

I’m trying to be consistent that’s why I’m not posting everyday so I won’t leave you with a dry spell. I still love you all. That said:

I’ve said a lot of times that I’d like to write my own vows at my wedding (future husband take note, you’ll probably be writing yours too :p Lol!), but a book I finished recently got me thinking. In that ‘moment of love’, it’s easy to get carried away and promise to be there in sickness and in health, for better and for worse because we can only imagine a kind of ‘worst’ and it seems bearable because we’re in love. I don’t mean to belittle anyone’s emotions or the institution of marriage but bear with me I’m going somewhere.

This book I just finished is titled ‘The Vow’. I saw the movie a while back as well – before I read the book. (click for the book review). It’s important to always keep your word. People look at you differently and treat you with another level of respect just because they know you’re honourable.

Again, some people wait for the big things before they decide to be honourable but if you can’t handle the little ones, how would you manage the majors? Start by keeping that promise to your 4 year old daughter that you would get her a new doll for good behaviour or not telling your colleague at work that you’d check the price of something on your way home when you have no intention of doing so. One thing I’ve been doing for a while that has really helped me is trying to keep every promise I make. Once I say ‘I promise’, I’m bound by that word. It takes a lot of discipline but it is possible.

One of the hardest people to keep promises to is ourselves. Learn to honour your word to yourself  –  it might make it easier to deal with others too. When you say you promise yourself tat’s the last level of Candy Crush before you go to bed, then make it the last level. Don’t make excuses – they are the most crucial tools for breaking promises. Just don’t make them at all!!!

I know it takes a lot of discipline and trust me I’m struggling as well, especially with keeping promises to myself but two things I need us to get from this are:

  • Once you’ve made a promise, you’re bound by your word. Always try to honour your word. Kim and Krickitt Carpenter – the authors of ‘The Vow’, stuck to their vow even when the going was tougher than most would ever know, even when they had no idea why they were doing it, even when they were confused about what a future under that situation would lead to … I’ll stop there but you guys really need to read the book (You can watch the movie but I can bet you it’s not the same!) and this leads us to …
  • Think before you speak. If you want to keep your word, then you have to start thinking before you speak. Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? Is it kind? I need us to pay particular attention to N. If it’s not necessary then you might not need to say it – once it comes out, you should follow through.

The month of August is almost over! I can’t believe the year is running so fast. By next year, we should have a new and improved system here that all of us can enjoy and I don’t need to be apologizing every time I’m away.

Even when I’m gone, you’re always in my heart,
Love you guys muchos,


To Bae or not to Bae … Can you afford this?

Now I never really understood the meaning of bae (I really still don’t) but I recently saw sagachristos’ ‘To boo or not to boo’ and I thought to myself, the ladies definitely have to strike back!!! Btw if you read it I fall in the ‘His grace is enough’ category 😥 and yes we still need to get a bae soon so this time we are determining our bride price. They think they can handle us but we may need them to make up for certain areas they lack by trying to compensate our family for making us lower our standards :p (Yeah I went there!).

As this is not typical me I’m finding it hard to come up with figures (also because I’m superpriceless 😉 ) so I took some categories they considered and put a spin on others plus a few I made up. Again I’m doing this to alleviate (check a dictionary :p) my boredom and erase the last traces of writer’s block and NOT to get on anyone’s nerves or under anyone’s skin … Lol! Okay so I’ll go back to semi normal after this I promise (fingers crossed) 😀

The bride price starts at  7 million (just to be fair -_-). Here goes nothing X_X

Age:       21 – 25 (-N500,000.00)
25 – 32 (N0.00)
Above 32 (+N500,000.00)

Body Shape:       Fit + Rock Solid Body (N0.00)       *side note: I need a ‘pillowable’ body guys 😀
Fit + Okay body – Pot belly (-N100,000.00)
Pot belly + Flabby (+N500,000.00)
BONUS: Teddy bear ‘wrap-me-able’ (-N250,000.00)         *side note: I’m a sucker for hugs!!!

Body Form:        Skinny                   (+N200,000)
Superbuff           (+150,000)
Teddy bearish   (N-100,000)
Romance novel specimen (N0.00)            (for example see below and no I haven’t read this one. I just googled it)

*side note: Too much wahala to keep my jealousy in check *shrugs*

Face:     Super cute and head turning (-N500,000)
Ehhn just okay (-N100,000)
If I look again there’s something about you (+N350,000)
Beauty is in the eye of the holder (+N750,000)
Beauty is on the inside (Lemme just say +N1,000,000)

Height:                 Tall – 6’1 to 6’4 ft                                (+N100,000)
Average – 5’8 to 6’1 ft                     (-N230,000)
Short – 5’5 to 5.7 ft                           (+N187,236.98)
Not in any category                         (+N239,765.37)

Dress Code:        Boy Band Cute (+N100,000)
Smart and sophisticated but with your own twist (-N70,000)
Gangster (+500,000)
BONUS: Sagging is the in thing mentality (+500,000)

Complexion:      I’ll be nice not to discriminate but
If I can’t see you in the dark                        (+N500,000)
If I can’t see you under the sun                 (+N1,000,000)

Gifting Talent:   Everything Pink (+N100,000)

Cliche gifts – Flowers and Chocolates only (+150,000)
Gifts unique to me (-N350,000)                 *side note: Yeah yeah, we all want that :p

BONUS: Can cook well   (-N200,000)


Sense of humour:            Totally hilarious                                 (-N400,000)

Can always make me laugh          (-N550,000)

Laughs at everything                      (N0.00)

King of dry jokes                              (+100,000)

What does laughter feel like?     (+N500,000)


Language control:            Very good spoken and written English – Accent (-N300,000)

Average spoken and written English – Accent (-N100,000)

Above criteria + Slight accent (N0.00)

Hayvee Hassent (+N350,000)

Abeg na me and my guys jus dey yan (+450,000)

English hard o (+750,000)


God Level:          God speaks to me (Not pick up line :p )                  (-N500,000)

Me and God are cool                                                      (-N100,000)

I aint there but i’m getting there                                               (N0.00)

Abeg all that one na yan, man gats hustle             (+N500,000)


Brain Level:         Genius  (-N350,000)        *side note: you can’t always be right though. Take note!

Relatively Average (-N100,000)

Average (N0.00)

Typical jock (+N250,000)

Video games are my future (+N500,000)


Monthly Income:             Salary Earner I can afford you and me     (-N400,000)

Salary Earner I can take care of myself just okay                (-N100,000)

Salary Earner I can barely afford myself (N0.00)

Monthly allowance from the folks            (+N250,000)

Sometimes business doesn’t show fruits maybe next month   (+N425,000)


Okay this thing is hard work I’m tired X_X. Anyway you get the drift. So take the small starting price and get adding (or subtracting) and lemme know who can get lower than 3 million :* :* :* plus I was super nice to put in small bonuses :D. Can you afford it? *evil grin*

Love you guys! Boundary II coming up soon. And don’t forget to leave your thoughts.

Hmmm … I wonder how much sagachristos can knock off …