Love One-Four 16.12


In case you missed the last posts:

Love is Patient

Love Is Kind

Love does not envy

Love does not boast

Love is not proud

Love does not dishonor others

Love is not self-seeking

Love is not easily angered

Love keeps no record of wrongs

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth

Love always protects

‘… always trusts …’

 

We’ve been dissecting love for the past 11 days and we’ve gone from needy love to fairy tale love and everything in between! Today we’re dealing with ‘love always trusts’- Trust being a major issue in our generation. Before I give away too much, let me introduce our writer for today – Her name is Vivien! She’s a pretty and amazing Jesus lover that blogs at thefreetribe.com

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After reading I’m sure you’ll agree with me that this free triber is a great writer so here’s her love one four piece:

Trust. That is one thing I’ve always given out perhaps too easily and I’ve been betrayed and fallen victim to scammers because of it. One would think that this attribute would translate into my relationship with Jesus but the situation is quite on the contrary (maybe because humans have broken my trust quite a number of times?). In my daily walk with Him, I’ve realized that trusting… really trusting Him is HARD.

What does it mean to trust someone? To trust means to firmly believe or have confidence in the reliability, truth or integrity of a person. That word ‘firmly’ sounds quite stubborn doesn’t it? Now, I don’t believe that we should hand over our trust to every Tom, Dick and Harry. Nope. You would be setting yourself up for betrayal and heartbreak if you do so. The Bible admonishes us to guard our hearts… To guard something means taking on an active and defensive role to protect something. We have been given the Holy Spirit to help us discern and know who to trust and who not to. I know that if I had sought the opinion of the Holy Spirit and if I had given heed to His little tug in my spirit, I would not have given my trust to anyone who would end up betraying me.

For those in our inner circle like our family, close friends, and especially those with whom we share some level of spiritual, physical and emotional intimacy with (like the guy/lady we are in a relationship with, our spouse or our fiancé/fiancée), it is important to trust them. There is no point being in a relationship with someone if they have proven over and over that they cannot be trusted because “love – trust = frustration & unfulfillment”. The only way we can totally free our significant other to love us unconditionally is by giving him/her our trust. If you cannot trust him/her, you would always be jealous, suspicious, insecure, fearful, worried and possessive and this can drain the life out of any relationship. I know you’ve been hurt and betrayed in the past but the beautiful thing about walking with God is that He constantly urges us to let go of our past and move into the beautiful future He desires for us.

1 Corinthians 13:7 (MSG) says that love

“Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.” (Emphasis placed by me).

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Throughout the scripture we see our Heavenly Father calling us to trust Him, assuring us of His love, telling us of his power and might and ability and all of this is to inspire us to trust Him always. Page by page in His word we see Him inviting us to ‘taste and see’ that He is good, invoking trust for Him in our hearts. I mean, who better is there to trust than the one who created you Himself?

I love that scripture in 1 John 4:18 (ERV),

“Where God’s love is, there is no fear, because God’s perfect love takes away fear. It is His punishment that makes a person fear. So His love is not made perfect in the one who has fear.”

Our Abba wants us to be secure in His love for us! He wants us to know that his love for us is perfect and unconditional so we should have no fear that He would leave us or not keep to His word! It is the desire of the devil to make us not to trust in God’s love for us. He wants us to be insecure about it. That’s why he torments us with his lies like, “After that thing you did, do you think God will answer your prayers?” “With the way you keep gossiping after several decisions to stop doing so, are you sure you’re really a child of God?” but honey you’ve got to resist him! That’s what he wants, for us to stop trusting and start doubting our Abba so that he can fully come in and destroy our lives.

I mean, God doesn’t just love us like a one-size-fits-all kind of thing… He loves us personally, each and every one of us. He knows us by our names and knows the number of hairs on our head. He even stores up our tears in a bottle! Our tears are important to Him too; it doesn’t get more intimate and attentive than that, if you ask me!

I’m going over all of this to remind you and me to trust Him because He loves us. Trust is something that is built over time through constant relationship. If God is asking you to leave that job, trust Him that He has something better for you. If He is calling you to step into your calling or purpose, trust that He who called you will sustain you till the end because He alone knows the future. Love always trusts God to come through, no matter how bleak the future may seem. I’m sure there are times when we have not trusted our partners or those close to us, there are times when their words have not matched their actions and so we are afraid to let go and open up and be vulnerable to avoid being hurt again. This is because they are human and there is only so much that they can do. But Abba is asking us to be confident in Him and totally rely on Him because He is perfect and only Him can give us the perfect love our soul desires. Man will always fall short.

Instead of constantly trying so hard to hold His hands and keep slipping, why not trust that He is holding you up with His right hand and will never let go? Instead of constantly feeling like you do not love Him enough, why not accept His perfect love for you and ask Him to teach you how to love Him? When we trust Him completely, we come to realize that He never ever fails. His love never ever fails. It may not seem like it right now but you will look back on your life someday and see that trusting Abba really paid off.

I pray that His spirit works in us to inspire our trust in Him more and more. And I pray that He leads us in our trusting others so that we do not open up our hearts or give our trust to the wrong people.

  • The FreeTriber

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I honestly can just pull put like five or ten quotes from this piece that I want to use as my wall paper or screen saver to keep reminding me that I need to trust in God no matter how many times man might fail me. Another thing, don’t give up on humanity. Trust that man can be good and trust that true love indeed never fails. Don’t stop loving guys,

‘’Love never fails.’’

 

Ghanaijachic.

Boundaries I


This particular post is way overdue and I want to first send a shoutout to @_shimuel who constantly reminded me that I was supposed to put this up and finally I have! :D. Thank you for your persistence and this Ghanaijachic appreciates your belief and dedication in this!

Now let’s begin!

The first thing that comes to your mind when you hear boundaries is restriction – at least that’s what comes to my mind . Limitations and rules are two other very likely words but no one immediately thinks of protection. The thing is God has set boundary lines for us and instead of thinking about how much this ‘limits’ you remember they have fallen for you in pleasant places meaning that whatever you do within these boundary lines is not supposed to ‘steal’ your joy! Boundaries give you identity – This is me, my gifts, values, feelings, needs, beliefs, etc.

Psalm 16:7
‘The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, surely I have a delightful inheritance.

There are five major boundaries that you must set for yourself and not cross. I learnt an acronym for that and its – PRESS.

Personal Space

Personal Boundaries: Personal boundaries are the hardest to set because they involve me controlling me. It’s easy to make excuses and readjust boundaries we set for ourselves as we please but sometimes we need to be disciplined. The most important personal boundary to me is controlling your tongue.

Mat 12:36 – 37
‘But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.’

Thinking about the fact that I would be judged based on everything that comes out of my mouth makes me think twice before i utter anything. Another thing is letting my yes be yes and my no, no. It simply means I must be a person of integrity. Whatever it is that would compromise my integrity, I choose to be apart from. Think of what personal boundaries you need to set and remember setting personal boundaries does not mean shutting people out!

 

Relational Boundaries: Man is a social being and no man is an island. We therefore need to relate with each other in this world but one principle everyone understands is that ‘You are the company you keep’. Hanging around certain characters all the time would ensure that you pick up those characters whether you like it or not.

1Cor 15:33
‘Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.’

5 rules

Don’t use that as an excuse though to  be ‘unequally yoked’ with unbelievers. The truth of the matter is that for ‘yoked’ relationships, the two people (or more than two) have to have the same basic beliefs and if they disagree then the foundation is shaky. This is also not to say that Christians shouldn’t be friends with Buddhists and cast them out or they should torment Muslims because they are of different faiths but that you should set boundaries as to what kind of relationships you have with people and who you can get intimate with.

Emotional Boundaries: The hardest emotional boundary to set is ‘turning the other cheek’. I often debate within myself as to whether I should ignore when others hurt me in a bid to maintain peace or if it’s okay to get angry. I finally decided that if someone hurts me I’d tell them – maybe not there and then but just to get it off my shoulder and avoid keeping a grudge. If it’s no big deal, then fine I may not need to bring it up except it is a recurring habit. I also decided that par adventure I get angry, I shouldn’t speak in anger or make decisions in anger. Still don’t let people take advantage of you okay?

Control

Eph 4:26
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:’

 

I’ll end here for now – there are two more major boundaries you shouldn’t cross or you should set for yourself – Situational and Sexual and I’ll be talking about them in my next post along with some consequences of breaking boundaries. Leave a comment and let me know what you think abiout boundaries.

Ta ta for now!

 

Who says ‘I love you’ first? – Day 11


Today’s random love thought is  by another amazing RANDOM writer. Someone (my mum X_X) told me to check out the blog and I saw a great piece for Love One Four so enjoy! Visit the website as well, its amazing!

P.S. Its another boss who has left blogging for the small children like me *sigh*

Love One-Four

I’m not sure how this applies in the Nigerian dating culture and I would be glad if someone enlightens me but I know in the western world, saying “I Love You” for the first time is a really big deal, I mean a huge deal in relationships and I’ve never really understood why people place so much emphasis on who says it first, how soon you say it and even where you say it. Now, I know this affects men and women in different ways so I’ll address the both angels.
Ladies First…
So here comes Angela and Segun who have been dating for 5 months and Segun is yet to say the three magic words. Angela starts to panic, “.. does he love me..? … should I say it first..? maybe he’s too shy to say it..? .. Oh God, he’s seeing another girl….” All these and even worse are the thoughts in Angela’s head. So what should she do?
Men…
Here is Segun, enjoying the relationship that he has going with Angela. Everything thing seems to be going well and he really does care about her but he is not yet at the commitment stage. One day, they are on a romantic date when Angela tells Segun “…babe, I have something I’ve been wanting to tell you..” (Segun begins to think.. Oh Oh….)

Angela: “Babe, I want you to know that I love you…”
Segun: Oh! .. **awkward silence**


Angela feels hurt that Segun did not say it back while Segun is scared that he’s now in trouble and the

relationship just got complicated.

See what I mean? Way too much complication. We attached unnecessary value to irrelevancies in our relationships. Who says I love you first is irrelevant and has nothing to do with the success of a relationship. You know why? Because people lie! All the time! What if Segun says “I love you too..” but he really doesn’t? People can say and do anything just to get what they want and to please the other party. Saying I love you these days is not a guarantee of anything. So stop complicating issues and just go with it. On the other hand, what if Segun starts acting like the sun rises and sets on his behind all because Angela said the words first?

Someone once said that whoever says “I love you” first in the relationship is in the weakest link. DogShit! That’s a whole load of crap that people just feed you without even understanding your own scenario. You have to understand that relationships vary from person to person. What works for A is not necessarily going to work for B. So don’t run your relationship the same way Sade does hers, you’ll only get one result: disaster!

Here’s what I think, it’s not even an issue; just say it! If you are convinced enough that you feel that strongly for that person then just say it. You can only get three responses:
(1) I love you too,
(2) The person is almost at the same place with you, and
(3) the person doesn’t love you now, and isn’t going to any time soon.
Based on whatever the response you get is, just keep on moving. And even if he/she says it back, talk is cheap. It’s the person’s actions towards you that will tell you whether he/she really does love you or not. But either way, stop treating your relationship with some 12 steps that you read in a book and attaching meaning to who says it first because if you are both meant to be together, such things would be irrelevant.

Most importantly, If you love someone, just tell them because today is given but tomorrow is not guaranteed

Tomorrow, Love One Four continues with ‘So whats the point of Love’ by Nkechi! Bye guys 😀

Single is …. (I promise there’s something there :D)


Hehehe! Okay everyone … Here’s what I promised in yesterday’s post! 🙂
I was listening to Myles Munroe’s ‘Maximising Your Singleness’ the other day and I realised that most people don’t really understand what it means to be single. We believe that:

Singleness = Unmarried = Incomplete = Unhappy

I know at this point most of us would have started disagreeing and concluded that this is nonsense but humour me for a few minutes.
‘Why do most people rush into relationships with the first available person?’
‘Why do most people out of relationships (especially the girls) do whatever possible to make potential partners notice them?’
‘Why are most people willing to do whatever it takes, no matter how much they have to compromise on their standards, to keep their partners?’
These are just a few questions we should ask ourselves to catch a glimpse of how obsessed the society is with pairing.

‘Single’ is separate, unique and whole!

Separate means different and distinct, viewed as a unit apart or by itself – here’s the only part we acknowledge – not joined or united with others.
Unique refers to something that is the only one of its kind, unlike anything else.
Whole is complete or entire.

Let’s put them together:
 Single can be defined as a different and distinct entity, the only one of its kind, complete or entire viewed as a unit apart or by itself unlike anything else and usually not joined or united with others.

One major misconception in this life is looking for the right person instead of being the right person. Most people strive to be ‘paired’ that they forget to be single first. You know what amazes me most? You can’t be paired if you’re not whole – People don’t get that. Check this out:
If you’re a fraction, say 2/3. You meet a whole – that’s 1 and you’re supposed to form a pair, 2.

2/3 + 1 = 12/3

The union is never complete. At this stage, you’re trying to manage 12/3 so you can’t focus on building the fraction to make 2 but while you’re still ‘not joined’, it’s easier to build your 1 and become the right person ready to be paired.

Someone once said that our major problem in this generation is that we live in a fast track world – We want everything NOW!
In preparing to be the right person however, we invest more in our bodies than our minds forgetting that it takes more to sustain a relationship than our bodies. The funny part of it all is that in investing in our bodies, today’s society has somewhat accepted trashy for classy. Classy always has been ‘stylish AND sophisticated’.

Maximize your singleness, use it to develop your wholeness.
                Don’t just pick someone out because they are available. 
                                Be picked out because you are the picture of godly person.

Singleness is not a status but a quality of life.
The quality of a thing is determined by the time spent on it so to improve your quality …
Depend on God and allow Him lead you – when you need help, stop and ask Him for directions!

One more thing – remember that SINGLE is not ALONE. Man is a social being and therefore needs people around him. We need relationships just as ships relate with one another – We need to share our cargo with each other because we don’t carry all we need. Therefore do not be isolated or solitary. Use your singleness to find your purpose.

Don’t forget to join the facebook community by liking the page Ganaija and follow on twitter @Ghanaijachic!
Have an awesome weekend!!!