Today’s random love thought is by another amazing RANDOM writer. Someone (my mum X_X) told me to check out the blog and I saw a great piece for Love One Four so enjoy! Visit the website as well, its amazing!
P.S. Its another boss who has left blogging for the small children like me *sigh*
I’m not sure how this applies in the Nigerian dating culture and I would be glad if someone enlightens me but I know in the western world, saying “I Love You” for the first time is a really big deal, I mean a huge deal in relationships and I’ve never really understood why people place so much emphasis on who says it first, how soon you say it and even where you say it. Now, I know this affects men and women in different ways so I’ll address the both angels.
So here comes Angela and Segun who have been dating for 5 months and Segun is yet to say the three magic words. Angela starts to panic, “.. does he love me..? … should I say it first..? maybe he’s too shy to say it..? .. Oh God, he’s seeing another girl….” All these and even worse are the thoughts in Angela’s head. So what should she do?
Here is Segun, enjoying the relationship that he has going with Angela. Everything thing seems to be going well and he really does care about her but he is not yet at the commitment stage. One day, they are on a romantic date when Angela tells Segun “…babe, I have something I’ve been wanting to tell you..” (Segun begins to think.. Oh Oh….)
Angela: “Babe, I want you to know that I love you…”
Segun: Oh! .. **awkward silence**
Angela feels hurt that Segun did not say it back while Segun is scared that he’s now in trouble and the
relationship just got complicated.
See what I mean? Way too much complication. We attached unnecessary value to irrelevancies in our relationships. Who says I love you first is irrelevant and has nothing to do with the success of a relationship. You know why? Because people lie! All the time! What if Segun says “I love you too..” but he really doesn’t? People can say and do anything just to get what they want and to please the other party. Saying I love you these days is not a guarantee of anything. So stop complicating issues and just go with it. On the other hand, what if Segun starts acting like the sun rises and sets on his behind all because Angela said the words first?
Someone once said that whoever says “I love you” first in the relationship is in the weakest link. DogShit! That’s a whole load of crap that people just feed you without even understanding your own scenario. You have to understand that relationships vary from person to person. What works for A is not necessarily going to work for B. So don’t run your relationship the same way Sade does hers, you’ll only get one result: disaster!
Here’s what I think, it’s not even an issue; just say it! If you are convinced enough that you feel that strongly for that person then just say it. You can only get three responses:
(1) I love you too,
(2) The person is almost at the same place with you, and
(3) the person doesn’t love you now, and isn’t going to any time soon.
Based on whatever the response you get is, just keep on moving. And even if he/she says it back, talk is cheap. It’s the person’s actions towards you that will tell you whether he/she really does love you or not. But either way, stop treating your relationship with some 12 steps that you read in a book and attaching meaning to who says it first because if you are both meant to be together, such things would be irrelevant.
Most importantly, If you love someone, just tell them because today is given but tomorrow is not guaranteed…
Tomorrow, Love One Four continues with ‘So whats the point of Love’ by Nkechi! Bye guys 😀