Happy new month everyone!
Let me warn you in advance that this is another rant. Today I’m here to talk about one of the biggest scams that ever existed – I’m fine. I remember a friend of mine back then that would always probe beyond my ‘I’m fine’s and it seemed like he was overdoing it but it was what I needed.
Now, there are people dying and all they need you to do is ask one more question beyond I’m fine. It tells them you care. It shows them that you are genuinely listening. It gives them the opportunity to choose to be vulnerable.
The problem now is that most of us don’t know how to react to vulnerability. Don’t tell me that someone has it worse and I should be grateful; because my hurt is my hurt – my pain is my pain. Please allow me to feel it and help me heal from it.
I was the ‘fine’ friend. Still am but things are way better now. It was not anyone’s first instinct to check on me. It’s more like checking on me to accuse me of not checking on them. And the truth is I’d apologize. And once again, I’d listen to the burdens of their hearts and help out. And like human nature so as not to feel too guilty, I’d hear them ask the question, How are you? Or sometimes it’s the ‘You?’ response to my own question. As usual, I’d say fine.
Sometimes I’d have summoned up the courage to say ‘I’ve been better’ but I’d get an ‘It could be worse’ or ‘It is well’ response. Please let’s go out of our way to listen to people. Be genuinely interested in them. I know we all can’t handle heavy stuff but sometimes, the best way to help is to know that there’s even a problem in the first place.
I heard this month is Suicide Awareness Month. Please reach out to your friend that’s always fine. It would go a long way.
Love you guys always and my dms are always open,
P.S. Our IG’s moving to the_shadesofshay very soon. Be sure to follow and stay tuned for updates.