Him: How’s prep going?
Me: I need help
Him: You? Need help? I don’t believe.
Me: You see that’s the problem. Nobody believes me.
Him: Yes nah, how can YOU need help?
This conversation held between me and someone else few weeks ago. It was kind of annoying because it is a typical conversation and as much as I’m honoured by the fact that people think I have stuff under control, I need them to realise when I need help. I mean usually I’d have said fine and moved on but I said I need help!! 😥
This post is a cry to two sets of people:
– The ‘can-helps’ and
– The ‘
I’ll start with category 2.
Please stop spoiling our market. If you’ve read, you’ve read. Stop trying to form humble and then coming to daze the whole world. You make the ‘can help’s think we want to take advantage of them. If you want to show yourself, feel free. We would even hail you but please don’t start by forming you need help and then turning tables around.
Dear can helps,
Please note that some of us are genuinely in need of help. The oversabis have spoiled our market small but some of us are still genuine. Please don’t make assumptions especially if that individual has not done oversabi for you before. Thanks in advance for your help.
Those that genuinely need help but can’t get it because of the general notion that they have it all together.
P.S. Not everyone might be able to relate with this post. It is more peculiar to student environments.
P.P.S. I don’t know how to translate oversabi. By next post, I’ll have a proper translation or at least an interpretation.
Shay: It’s amazing how some things that used to fascinate me before no longer fascinate me.
Self: No it’s not.
Self: Do fingers still fascinate you? (Without waiting for an answer) It’s called growth.
I have weird conversations with myself sometimes, forgive me. This was one of them and it got me thinking. We all grow eventually – some faster than others but ultimately we grow. We are supposed to grow physically, mentally and spiritually; man is a tripartite being anyway.
Today I want to talk a bit about mental growth. Intellectual growth is under mental growth. It is targeted at improving your skill set and expanding your knowledge base but my focus today is mental maturity.
Mental maturity cannot really be taught and unlike physical maturity, it may not be seen outrightly. Mental maturity today is focused on two basic things – the ability for delayed reaction and the ability to assign due reward.
Delayed reaction means that you don’t immediately curse the person that hurts you because of your feelings at that moment. You take time to think and weigh circumstances before you react properly. You can have a special default like smiling or something neutral so that you don’t, in a bid to not react, start to stress your facial
The ability to assign due reward also includes meting out of punishment. Just because someone has annoyed you somewhere else, not for the reason that a punishment is being issued, you group them under defaulters of the new offense so you can punish
them – that to an extent is immaturity.
Maturity really is about putting your feelings under, weighing decisions and opportunity costs and then developing a thick skin to pressure. You should know when to say No and when to let go. You should learn the importance of deadlines and when to take time on making a decision. It is a process really, one I’m learning everyday.
It’s Sunday again. Today something popped into my head… Can work go on even when I’m not there?
Well, I’m the kind of person that loves to put my all into everything I’m doing. Now put me in charge of delivering on something and you’re almost guaranteed I’ll deliver my best. That’s what I believe in – delivering excellence.
So back to my question. Can work go on even when I’m not there? Well it can. I know the kind of people I work under – every vacuum must be filled. The real question is would work be as effective when I’m not there as it is when I am? That’s the difference between a very good manager of resources and an effective leader.
A very good manager might get resourceful and take initiative to do the best he can with the team he’s been given and produce very good results. A leader can even go further to motivate his team to produce results even when they aren’t around. A leader’s focus should be improving human resources – developing the skills of their followers while producing maximum quality results. Now as much as this is the bone of leadership, only a truly effective leader would be able to lead even when absent. Let me explain that – It means that there are systems in place that serve as a guide for the running of the structure to produce maximum effective results. These systems won’t run by themselves at first definitely but putting them in place while being there to observe and monitor the effects. Tweaks can be made where necessary but the most important rule I’ve learnt is that you must be willing to submit yourself to the system.
An effective leader is what I’m striving to be. As much as we all like to be needed and feel valued, the test of true leadership is in the fact that your system can run in your absence. Let your standard for leadership be beyond managing resources and producing results; get to a level of improving people and leaving a legacy.